Even with the recession, it’s unlikely that we will ever own a piece of land in this expensive city. The housing bubble has burst, but the liquor bubble is still growing strong. Sadly, all of our funds are tied up there. We’d like to raise our glass to Laphroaig. They let sophisticates like us (i.e. those who dig through their futon for every last ounce of beer money) have the chance to own a slice of the Earth. If you buy a bottle of their smoky Scotch, you’ll get a lifetime lease on a 1 foot square plot of land on the Island of Islay. That may not be big enough to set up shop, but it’s only slightly smaller than your first studio apartment.
The liquor company encourages you to visit your plot (after registering with the purchase number found on each bottle). It may sound like an old-time Florida real estate scam, but there are three key differences:
1. There are no alligators on the Island of Islay.
2. You’ll have plenty of friendly neighbors, which you can meet on Laphroaig’s website. They have their own little social networking world, with members in over 150 Countries.
3. In shady real estate deals, you walk away with nothing. Here, they’ll pay you rent in the form of a dram of Laphroaig. Nice.
If you want to get into this sort of real estate speculation, you can check out their website at www.laphroaig.com. We can’t wait to visit to see our spot. It looks like the journey might be perilous. Here is how they say to prepare:
For the journey to the plot, protective headgear against low-flying geese; a thick overcoat to repel the inclement Scottish mist; a lifebelt and anchor to safeguard against being blown out to sea; one ball of string for securing trouser legs from inquisitive stoats; and a towel for the Leaseholder to dry-off in the event of unwelcome attention from affectionate otters.
Comments