Before diving into the Holidays, we decided to say ‘bah-humbug’ and get wasted at a proper downtown dive. We trekked over to Double Down Saloon, a dingy drink hole imported from Vegas. The bar describes itself as a “clubhouse for the lunatic fringe”. Ah, the perfect place to drown some holiday sorrows. We planned to drink it up, play some Spiderman pinball, and ride the twenty-five cent mechanical pony over the horizon. His destination? Drunken oblivion.
Halfway through our holiday bender, we had to divert our eyes from the television. The bar shows videos made for and by their lovely “lunatic fringe”. The films completely overlook the Christmas spirit. Let’s just say it’s not a wonderful life when you are suspended from the ceiling by 30 small meat hooks in your back. We shifted our focus to a sign. Perfect – a Holiday shot special!
Lucky for us, the bar’s signature Holiday Ass Juice was on sale. We purchased 2 hefty shots for $9. We made sure we were near the bathroom, just in case. It may be divey, but Double Down still has one strict rule: you puke, you clean. We sipped, and were relieved. It was a mysterious fruity vodka shot that tasted nothing of bum. We definitely weren’t going to yak and have to get the mop. What a relief – especially because we doubted that this bar even owned a mop. They likely would have forced us to clean using a combination of tiny napkins and abandoned bras.
We would give you the recipe, gentle reader, but the bartender wasn’t offering any hints (and we’re not sure that we really wanted to know). We think you can make your own Holiday Ass Juice by gathering up everyone’s half-finished drinks at the bar, mixing them all together, and topping them off with a grapefruit floater. It doesn’t really matter how it comes out, our bar companion noted that she had tasted blue, yellow, and red Ass Juice on previous visits. Sounds perfect for a nightcap as your guests leave the holiday party!
Next time we go back, we plan to try the Bacon Martini. If those videos are any indication, the bartender likely slits the pig’s throat to order.
Drinking plenty of fresh fruit juices daily will cleanse your system, make you feel completely energized and last but not least, you will look beautiful.
Posted by: healthy foods | February 19, 2009 at 05:22 PM