Cultural Cavorts: Bikini Blood Bath Car Wash

We had such a good time heading over to Two Boots Pioneer Theater for the opening of Bikini Blood Bath (more than a year ago) that we were ecstatic to find the sequel Bikini Blood Bath Car Wash would finally debut at the very same place. Premier at the very same Pizza Joint 12 months later? Screw an Oscar. That pepperoni is to die for.

A double feature promised to bring us back to the comedic slashings of the Evil Chef Killer and the purposeful nudity at a high school house party. We would then move on to the highly anticipated sequel. Needless to say, there would be numerous drinks in between.

What would Car Wash bring that the first Bikini Blood Bath did not? Definitely new pairs of bigger breasts. New actors and actresses took the role of old characters. Thankfully, they seemed to be in better shape. Now out of high school, the girls were recruited by our favorite lesbian gym teacher Mrs. Johnson (Debbie Rochon) to work at her new business. How perfect that it was a car wash? She spanks, whips and barks at the bikini clad girls to “Get to work!” They scrub windshields while she pines after them. Poor lonely soul.

As we hoped, the Evil Chef Killer rises from the grave (possibly brought on by a ouija board…oogety booogety!) to terrorize a house party, this time hosted by Mrs. Johnson. Everything we liked about the first movie appeared in this one, right down to the partygoers walking straight into obvious death traps and amateur hook up scenes. We hoped it would have moved along a little faster, though we appreciated all of the fat jokes and of course the retro inspired metal/rock soundtrack. We chose not to notice the sound and microphone issues because we admire those who can see projects through to the end while we are just getting wasted on martinis and passing out.

If nothing else, we learned how to fight an Evil Chef Killer should one come crash the next dance party hosted at our apartment. Tits, ass, elbows! Boo ya!

Review:Bikini Blood Bath –

The Evil Chef costumed as resurrected by an apparent smear of mud on his face - 3 olives -That’s certainly how we'd handle a make up job after four martinis.

Perverted college professor getting repeated car washes - 1 olive - Too creepy. How did the creators find someone with such horrible teeth? Put someone sexy in this role next time.

Creators hosting a Q & A after the movie to which someone responded “Everyone here was involved in the movie, no questions. Off to the bar!” - 3 olives - We enjoy this sort of family style environment in which everyone present contributed to a project they can’t promote because they are too busy bartending to pay for breast implants. How else did they expect to launch their acting careers? Props!