Review: Fat Cat Billiards

Barfly was so scarred by our recent trip to Dave and Busters that we thought drinking and gaming would be forever ruined. We didn’t want to have a dance dance revolution – why did they keep trying to make us?

At the very moment when we were about to pledge never to have “fun” while drinking again, we received an invite to a West Village game/drink-hole. After we demanded numerous assurances that the place did not serve anything resembling D&B’s “appetizers” (the horror), we decided to give joy another chance. We headed down to Fat Cat Billiards - resolved to play.

In case things went awry, we tucked a cyanide capsule into our jacket. If Fat Cat was in any way similar to Dave and Buster’s clanking Midtown madness, it would be game over for us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you know how the story turned out. You are reading this, aren’t you (and likely weeping from being witness to such brilliance). We survived. And, please clutch your drinks so not to spill them when you gasp – we had fun.

Fat Cat skips the greasy appetizers and gets right to the main course: delicious games (note: if you are so drunk that the metaphor is beyond you and you actually try to eat them, Barfly salutes you). The basement space isn’t full of video nonsense like House of the Partially Dead 4.5 – they do their business old school style. Ping Pong, Shuffle-Ball, Chess, Pool – just add a racially insensitive version of Pin the Tail on the Donkey and this place would seem like it was ripped straight from the 1950’s.

We ended up gaming the night away, and suggest you head down and do the same. We even forgive them for the live jazz band – we were so busy making our fellow gamers cry (we can get very intense when it comes to arguing and annoying our way to victory) that we barely noticed.

Review: Fat Cat Billiards – 75 Christopher Street

Playing Scrabble with a bunch of Drunks – 5 olives – We still can’t believe they let our word “QJETK” fly – that was like 45 points! Definition: Barfly, you’re a genius.

Location – 5 olives – We hope that Fat Cat stays here forever – it’s one of the last easy-going / everyone is welcome bars on our glorious Island of Manhattan. Yes – they may charge a $3 cover, but that keeps the riff-raff (i.e. the idiots who think paying $350 for bottle service is reasonable) out.

Options at the Bar – 3 olives – They only have draft beers and Smirnoff ice – at first we didn’t think this was very sporty. But then, we realized that we had to make a game out of it. We poured the brew into a martini glass (luckily we carry one with us at all times) and got 1 point every time a stranger said “my, don’t you look sophisticated”. Double point bonus if they referred to us as “fancy-pants”.

Unused cyanide – 3 olives – We were having such a jolly time that we almost forgot to utilize our precious poison. We took it out of our jacket, but couldn’t decide who should be the “winner” – the hipster that cut us in line for foose-ball or the jazz-band bass player who was wearing a ridiculous pork-pie hat. We were about to do in Porky – but decided we had enough gaming for the night. Guess we have to save the fun for next time (please consider this when choosing head-wear)!

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