We made our way up through the winding Staten Island roads and gawked at the “elite” neighborhood's homes. They were all piled on top of one another. We realized that Staten Island real estate is not about property...it's about being the gaudiest house on the block. Due to the line of Altimas, Jeeps and Jettas pumping bass and making their way up the road ahead, we could see the island was also about the annual pool party we were on the way to.
We arrived and went into the yard. All of the locals were equipped with a drink, their swimming trunks and mouths full of bad language..."So I f**in told him get the f*ck out of here before I break your face!" The other thing they all had in their mouths? Gum. Did you think cows were not bred in the boroughs? Think again.
We gave a friendly smile to the uninvited neighbors who spied on us out their window. “The people under the stairs" we like to call them - due to the daunting vines climbing up their home and the rickety old rocker on their porch. They responded to our sneers by closing their shades. Well adieu to them. If they would just pop in some bubbleicious and pop out some F bombs – they would have surely been invited.
Before deciding to aid in setting up the pig that was to feed us, we mixed ourselves a pool party cocktail and reminisced about the last year's attempt at the roast. Everyone forgot poor Porky was turning over the flames and he set fire. We can attribute that to the liquor fountain that was spewing a purple magic potion. We barely noticed at 2am when we were gnawing on charred pork...it was actually quite delicious once we rinsed it off in the pool.
This year, the pig was hoisted and everyone hopped in the pool for a friendly game of Staten Island style Marco Polo. This is when the person seeking holds your head under water if they find you. Not to worry, the locals always know when it's "panic time" and to let you up for air. It's all in how frantic the bubbles seem they say.
A few hours, and 2 rounds of CPR later – the pig was ready. As a clever jest, someone had stuffed a can of Budweiser in the swine’s mouth – making it seem as though the pig was enjoying a last beer before being devoured. We started to chuckle, but everyone at the party didn’t think this was funny. They got out the knives, stared in awe at the beast and exclaimed through pops of gum:
“Yo – look at that goddamn pig - he’s f*ckin drunk – how f*ckin awesome is that!”
i want a place were i can swim party,have fun relax enjoy, safe place nice..i'm straight
thank you
Posted by: Majed Abdullah Salem | February 23, 2009 at 09:16 AM