The surprise ring of the apartment buzzer immediately set off thoughts of the worst.
“Shhh. . . ”
Last Sunday, I found myself crouched to the ground of my living room. I mirrored my roommate’s horrified expression and leaned over quietly to click the light off - Anne Frank style. The duck and cover maneuver was much smoother than the panic that ensued seconds earlier. I heard the buzzer and scrambled around - trying to find the remote control so I could turn the volume on the TV down (and give the illusion of ‘no one home’). I knocked over a precious cocktail. I’ll be sure to remember that poor lost spritzer next Memorial Day.
The life of the party, the most attractive guy at the bar, the force behind our on-a-whim Friday night dance party had done a 180 on me.
I reached over quietly for the phone and saw them - all 16 texts and voicemails. He explained his “wanting to take care of somebody” and being “in a weird place right now” not to mention being “sorry for acting so irrationally” and “needing to see me”. At the end of each message after #7, he claimed it was the “last one” he was sending. And now the buzzer was ringing.
This was a sorry situation. Sorry because this on-a-whim Friday night looked to be very successful i.e. drinking, dancing and accidentally peeing on the floor - “I thought it was the toilet”. How did such fun turn into a young man’s baffling psycho woes?
After 10 minutes of sitting in the dark, whispering and signing panic at the door (i.e. the middle finger) – it seemed that the mystery buzz was not him showing up to cry his pains away in person. I calmed down, refreshed our vodka sodas, and reflected on the weekend. How could this attractive, most magnetic person turn out to be so crazy? Were there signs that were ignored?
You tell us dear readers. Here is the list I collected:
1) He didn’t have any money. I believe he is in musical theater due to the plie-battle he had with another guy at the party.
2) None of his “friends” knew him. I found out as everyone was leaving and I overheard them slurring about the weirdo at the bar who invited himself.
3) There was a point in the night when we noticed he was missing and then came to find he was staring-in at us from the fire escape in the rain. Wasn’t he just cooling off? It was awfully hot with everyone trying to learn Thriller in unison. Hmm. . .
As the phone buzzed once again, I decided that I would take people’s numbers in the future rather than give up my own.
The list of warning-signs sat on a napkin with ashes from the ashtray. They seemed kind of incomplete. This might be a case for more investigation. Why not – I answered the phone, and agreed to see him a second time. All the warning signs may be there – but please refer to the above article and see the part about him being attractive.