No Vodka Plans this Weekend? Why not a jaunt to Cape North?

It’s always tiresome for the glamorous to figure out a suitably delicious vacation spot. The Caribbean? We don’t care to experience hurricanes that aren’t awash with Barcardi. The continent? The dollar is so weak right now that it makes a simple night in Paris close to unaffordable. Of course, simple involves two Moulin Rouge prostitutes, a case of Burgundy, a flamenco show, and a friendly donkey – not necessarily in that order.

We know! How about The Cape? Sounds vaguely sophisticated. The perfect combination of old money exclusivity with new money pizzazz (i.e. using bio-diesel powered sand buggies to destroy the plover’s habitat).

Nantucket’s out. We went there last summer and due to what the court papers refer to as “the incident” we were subsequently banned for 4.6 years (despite the scandal, we did confirm that – yes - they are real cobble stones). Cape of Good Hope? Nah – we’re not buying that Obamania nonsense.

We decided that Cape Hatteras would have to do – at least we would finally get to apply a skill acquired in college (major: horse whispering). At the moment we were to depart – the alcohol gods intervened. And what did they say? “Barfly – why are you going to North Carolina? There is a Cape you can enjoy right here in your glorious city: Cape North Vodka. And don’t lie to your readers – you majored in show-pony whispering. ”

As always – the alcohol gods were right (you can at least pretend to be wrong sometimes, just because you’re omniscient doesn’t mean you have to be a smarty-pants). We didn’t need to hijack the Hampton jitney and have them drive us 12 hours into the south. We just had to head over to Marquee or Cipriani for a Cape North - straight up, with olives. Now that’s what we call a vacation.

Barfly is surprised that such a fine spirit would have flown under our radar for so long (as we have a map of the world with little pins in all of the Capes, not to mention fjords). Cape North is new to the American sophisticated-lush market. We were heartened to learn that it came from the magical land of fine alcohols: Europe.

Even better, it’s made with grains from France and ice-cold Nordic spring water from Sweden. This international supply chain is likely what gives Cape North its smooth thrill - can you imagine something sexier than a 6’3” pale-skinned blonde carrying around a baguette as they mouth “oui-oui” (if you can, please send it to us!).

So, this weekend, we can gladly say that we’re off to the cape! We plan on doing loads of site-seeing. On Friday, we think we’ll mix it with some vermouth. On Saturday, we hear that dill infused martini is supposed to be pretty exciting. And Sunday? Well, we’ll probably just keep it simple. Cape North, on the rocks. Travel exhausts us.

Comments

[John Adams]

I just love that Vodka, probably the best one out there.