We understand that dealing with a newly found pot of gold can be exhausting (newly found pot o’ gold = St. Patrick’s Day Hangover, two days later). If you did your drunken duty this past Patty’s day, then you should just be waking up. And, you should be properly groggy from telling so many Erins to go bragh (not to mention the Jameson’s).
As always, Barfly is here to help you with some post holiday hangover tips. We ourselves are finally back on our feet. Admittedly, we turned a bit green after the merry day. It took a while to come to terms with what we did, but we are truly Irish inspired when it comes to rationalizing. That unspeakably ugly person that we ended up going home with? Why, they clearly were, uh, a leprechaun!
Tips for a top ‘o the morning hangover:
Eat potatoes - The starch alleviates the symptoms of your hangover, and the calories help prepare you for the impending famine.
Start drinking – This is the true Irishman’s secret. When St. Patrick visited the nation, he actually got rid of two things. 1. All the Snakes 2. The ability to function with a blood alcohol level below .08%. Every day is St. Patrick’s day on the Emerald Isle!
Spend some of that magical gold on Aspirin and Smart water – When the store clerk claims that she doesn’t accept magical gold as valid currency, calmly explain to her that “if she just followed the rainbow, she could have had the gold herself.” Jealous bitch.
Bang your head against the wall (preferably concrete) – This may not help your hangover, but it was the only method that got those frickin bagpipes out of our head. We understand that many of the Irish are herders, but why did they base their national instrument on the sound of birthing sheep?
Go to the nearest grocery store, and tear every box of Lucky Charms apart in a hung-over rage – That damn cartoon leprechaun – you know it was his fault. The bad news is that he’s done for. The good news is that the carnage also makes a tasty breakfast.
Better hurry up and get un-hungover – the holiday Gods have been kind to us this year. Easter is only a few days away, and we all know how excited we are for Blood of Christ Sangria. It’s truly a shame that we only get to enjoy it once a year – he SO should rise more often!