Zen Green Tea Liquor

We love when new liquor is released, especially when the novel brand thwarts an entire category of namby-pamby caffeine drinkers. No more excuses, you jolted up java fiends.

First, Starbucks released its alcoholic coffee drink. Despite the chain’s dominance, some of you still weren’t convinced. Upon being offered a beverage, you refused to say the obvious “A beverage? Indeed, I’d like a strong martini.” You even avoided the somewhat reasonable “Uh, I’ll have one of those Starbucks-coffee-alcohol thingies, Venti.”

What did you ask for? We shudder before repeating it: “A tea please, preferably green.” Truly, you break our heart into even smaller grizzled pieces.

Well, Barfly is pleased to announce that your belligerent avoidance of alcohol has gone the way of punch (currently known as Rum Punch, as we slyly put Rum in it when no one was looking). Zen Green Tee Liquor, produced by Suntory, effectively eliminates the last non-alcoholic beverage choice known to man. We can rejoice to our pagan-gods that it happened on time. Green Tea’s reassurance has been making thousands of people feel “peaceful” and “at one with themselves”.

We say thank you Suntory for putting an end to that nonsense. The only folks that people should feel “at one with” is Barfly. And, perhaps Captain Morgan if you’re feeling piratey (we know – the urge gets to the best of us every now and then – we’re not jealous).

Come to mention it, now that caffeine has been co-opted by the Japanese, Barfly feels at peace with the world and the spirit of our ancestors. Good thing – because that Zen Sand Garden in the corner of our apartment has not been tended for a while. We think we’ll drink some more Green stuff, and finally be up for setting it back into balance.

Uh, do you think if we give them a few sips of Zen, the family of feral cats will leave peacefully?

Comments

[The Shark Guys]

Finally, one can blend competing desires: to be healthy, and to get sh*t-faced. That is simply fantastic.

[Beth]

You should check out Firefly's Sweet Tea Vodka, it is made with vodka produced in the lowcountry of South Carolina and tea grown in Charleston. The only tea plantation in the US! It is selling like hotcakes here.

[sildenafil citrate]

what a great post, thanks for the info, something to think about!...

[ugg outlet store]

AGGGHHHH!!! I missed it all AGAIN. You need to give a clue, as to when you're going to post your stash!