Next time you get annoyed at the youngun’s incessant questions (does anyone really know why the stupid sky is blue) it might be time to take a breath and give yourself a much deserved time out. Plop the kid in front of flat screen idiot box while you grab the wine key and huddle in the corner. A few sips of Mommy’s Time Out Pinot Grigio and you’ll forget all about the stressful intricacies of making a bathtub drowning look accidental.
This crisp and refreshing wine pairs perfectly with chicken, fish, and strained peas. If your little loved one still refuses to give you quiet time, explain to them that “Mommy needs her sippy cup too” as you lock them in that special cupboard that you keep for particularly soothing moments.
In especially good news for single mothers, a few of the more progressive states allow cases of this to be given in lieu of child support checks. The vintner tried to introduce a similar version for men called “Daddy’s Time Away” but it underperformed when daddy’s secretary felt threatened in her diversionary role and kept harping “More time away? You don’t really love me at all, do you?”
Though we ourselves are not a parent, we’ve decided that Mommy’s Time Out wine wins drink of the week. Even though there might not be the pitter patter of little feet warming all of our homes, we can all use a time out. And, most importantly, we are always looking for a good excuse to get back in touch with the happy memories of our youth, like tearfully huddling in the corner with a ba ba.