The Lime Bomber

The scourges of New York nightlife are slowly falling away. Second hand smoke caused your cute little tumor? Well, we now have a smoking ban that keeps our lungs shiny and cancer free. Crackhead steals your wallet on the way home? Not any more – Mr. Crackhead had turned into Mr. Meth-head. He’s far to busy having unprotected sex with his internet friends to rob little ol’ you.

And now, an invention comes along that will eradicate the most dangerous plague that lurks beyond the safety of your overpriced apartment.

We all know what goes on in the employee bathrooms of New York establishments. The staff sees the little sign that beseeches them to wash their hands and they cackle with laughter. “Hahaha,” they say. “That sign should read Patrons Must Ingest Germs from My Soiled Hands Because I’m not Fucking Washing Them.” Barfly feels sorry to see such angry pretend signs and the servers that laugh at them – we hope they become happier once their acting career gets going (4 years without a role is a long time, we’d be a tad angry ourselves).

The Lime Bomber gets around the problem of a grubby handed bartender. Isn’t the only true desire of a serious patron to enjoy that lime spiked beer without having to worry about the monkeypox, syphilis, or career frustration that the bartender may have rubbed into the bottle? It also avoids the awkward situation that arises when you order a corona with lime and the bartender sheepishly informs “Uh, I can give you the beer, but can you put the lime in yourself. This leprosy has left me with a stump and a nub where my thumb used to be.” Thank god you didn’t ask about that picture of Mother Theresa taped to the register – you would have been SO embarrassed.

Barfly is sold, ladies and gentlemen. We plan on bombing limes into the wee hours of the morning. There is such an aura of cleanliness that we’ve already forgot that we are ingesting beer from Mexico. And, as a true patriot, we have to ask: what other bar tool combines two of America’s favorite pastimes into one ice cold beer? For $10.99 you can get bombed and bomb shit all at once. The swizzle and the jigger have a lot of work to do if they are going to catch up (come on guys, Barfly believes in ya!).

Comments

[Parker]

The "wedger" is fun too....used wisely....
www.limebomber.com