Review: The Blue Donkey (poor guy, he just wanted some pepperoni)

The Blue Donkey is quite the multi-tasking dive bar, think of it as an I-phone for the $3 beer sect. It has the hastily put together “bar-cade” so those underage drinkers can score without having to actually bring home a girl (their roommate, in the midst of a 46 hour GPA-rific marathon of Halo 3, already pinned a sock to the door anyway). It has the tiny umbrellas and festive glasses that house tropical drinks – great for the ghetto blaster contingent. A delicious mai-tai really washes the taste of weed out of one’s mouth. It even has an adjoining bakery / pizza parlor - perfect for when you get Blue Donkey munchies and are dying for a cheese slice topped with cupcakes.

What it doesn’t have is an obvious illicit activity going on. A place that shoddily hits on so many aspects of New York bar going simply must be a front for something. We poked around every corner, and there was nary a cock fight, underage prostitution ring, or amputee black jack dealer to be found. Just more discarded cans of Labat Blue next to some boxes shipping to the tribal regions of Pakistan (its nice that they care).

Luckily Barfly knows about these things (the site that you are reading could be called lucrative exotic sweetmeats smuggling.com). When the owners realized that the real money lies in, say, harvesting organs from baby pandas (a delicacy in Japanese tapas) they quickly needed something to cover their true moneymaking venture. The choice came down to a Laundromat or a hastily thrown together dive bar. The order for dryer sheets was ready to go, but the owners realized that laundering money in actual laundry machines seemed a bit too postmodern for them.

You can just imagine the free association session that gave birth to the second, third and fifth heads of this freakish bar: New york bar. . . drinking . . . air hockey. . . hockey pucks. . .scones. . . stale scones. . .donkey food. . . sad donkey because he wanted pizza . . .The Blue Donkey!

The Blue Donkey – Amsterdam Avenue between 83^rd and 84^th -

Choice of $3 Beers – 3 olives – Bar goers have a wide variety of tall boy cans to choose from. As explained with enthusiasm by the bartender “Shit, shit, and shit. Does it really matter?”

First person shooter arcade games – 4 olives – At downtimes, you’ll catch the staff practicing their technique. When asked why the enjoyed the games so much, the manger explained: “fuckin ATF agents aren’t gonna take my fuckin livelihood away.”

Cupcake Pizza – 5 olives – Haha Andy Sandberg! We beat you this time and are sure to be the next You Tube sensation with our devilishly original rap: Lazy cupcake pizza in a box.

Comments

[Sam]

I have found a couple of very interesting things, kudos on a great job. I just started my own and would appreciate any feedback or advice you may have. I had a pretty busy weekend so not a ton of new stuff, but still had a chance to add a couple of new cheats:

Thanks,
Sam
www.GameCheatsLive.net

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