Barfly knows how difficult college can be, especially financially. When mommy and daddy have to sell her precious MILF eggs to afford your tuition, they may be a bit strapped to provide you with spending cash. Be heartened as you learn valuable life-skills like feminist German filmmaking and The Power of the Nubian, there is a place where you can afford to drink it up. East village bar Cheap Shots certainly lives up to its name. You can get properly sloshed and still afford to buy the used copy of Beowulf that you’ll need for that report that’s due like, oh shit, tomorrow.
Before you have to write about our medieval hero getting sopped on Meade and going after Grendel, you can be a little epic yourself. Take some $2 shots of SoCo Lime and dive in after your roommates “out of town friend” Gretchen, who doesn’t seem so monstrous after that third pitcher of yuengling.
Barfly says Godspeed, young hero. Drink well and cheaply. Slay that redhead in the corner. Study for your exams. Most importantly, spend plenty of time playing air hockey, living it up, and gaining precious memories of cheap shots. You’ll be glad to have something to look back on when you realize that you won’t get hired at your internship, even though you spoke very eloquently about Prussian politics while going on your third Starbucks run of the morning.
Review: Cheap Shots - 1st Avenue and 9th Street
Drink for free on your birthday – 3 olives – A good deal, until that fake ID joint on Bleecker Street Closed. It used to be that every day could be our birthday for $35 a pop. Now we have to go to the tattoo parlor on St. Marks and spend $60. While this still nets us a $76 savings from an average night of drinking, those tattoo guys can have pretty hairy backs.
Reading just enough of Beowulf so that Mommy and Daddy are proud of your education – 5 olives – Recite a Shakespeare verse at the table (fail to mention that you memorized it from Baz Luhrmann) and she’ll pony up two more eggs. Drinks on you!
Grade inflation at the major New York Universities – 4 olives – The report you hand in two days later is titled Yesterday’s hero, Today’s Hero: A Comparative Study of Epic Poetry and the film of Samuel L. Jackson. The professor gives you a B+. If it were a C, she knew that Jackson would come and fuck up her motherfuckin’ ass!
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