Communicate with the Spirits: Ready to Tanqueray? Well, perhaps after we get globe probed.

Tony Sinclair, the British version of the immensely popular "7-Up Guy" has been everywhere talking about what the brits do best: getting snickered on gin.

Convinced that the dotty Americans were about to revolt tea-party style and heave cases of their standard product overboard in favor of revolutionized energy drinks, Tanqueray has rolled out their new rangpur flavored gin. Infused with a cut of lime and slightly less alcoholic than standard Tanqueray, the Brits decided on a remarkably different rebellion quashing strategy than dear old King George: douse the flavor of actual gin in lime juice and get a black guy with a snarky British accent to keep us in our place.

American's have never developed a true love of gin, much to Tanqueray's dismay. Age old rumors still taint the liquor's stateside reputation. "We've reiterated time and time again, the British stiff upper lip is not a sigh of excessive juniper consumption," a Tanqueray representative informed. There was no discernable movement of his upper lip as he issued the statement.

It's still too early to tell how sophisticated Americans will react to the new flavor of this "rangpur". Barfly recently interviewed a traditional American bar-goer to see what they thought. "Gin, dude, isn't that what like, old ladies drink when they knit?"

His revolutionary compatriot agreed to this common sense. "Bro!," he exclaimed as he issued a high-five.

When asked to respond, Tanqueray's rep scoffed. "High-fiving? We shall do nothing of the sort." He issued a disdainful scowl, using only his bottom lip.

The rangpur itself is apparently a special "hybrid" fruit of the future: a cross between a lemon and mandarin orange. We decided to ask our favorite futuristic marketing campaign character, SVEDKA_grl, how she thought this mixing of genes would sit with today's American audience. "None of this matters, you fools! You can drink all the gin you want, it won't change the fact that you'll soon be bowing before me, your queen!"

Drink all the gin we want? Barfly is certainly sold! Rangpur for all! Uh, why isn't our lip moving?