Upon resurrecting ourselves this morning we discovered a strange looking bird sitting outside our bedroom window.
Our new friend chirped its song and pulled us out of our timeless vortex of NY drinking. “Chirp chirp,” it sang. “It’s that time of year where all the latent catholic guilt that you’ve been denying comes bubbling up, bubbling up like the blood of Christ. La la.”
To go with your slaughtered baby lamb Barfly has come up with a libation that the entire family is sure to enjoy. Two pitchers of this and the whole clan will be “forgiving” the pedophile uncle and that cheating slut of an aunt who always steal your cleaning supplies when they come over.
While sipping, please remember, when that Bunny died on the cross, it was for YOUR sins.
Blood of Christ Sangria (Goes great with Body of Christ Chex Mix)
3 boxes of wine (if possible, make with supermarket purchased wine-substitute, for that real church wine kick)
Assorted fruit, sliced by Jews
Tears from a weeping Virgin of Guadalupe statuette (if not available, nun blood will suffice)
Mix ingredients together in pitcher. Transubstantiate. Think malicious and judgmental thoughts as you bring glass to your lips. Sip, and be absolved.