March is here and with it comes much griping and complaining about “the cold” and how people can’t go out because of silly things like “the flu” or “pneumonia”.
Barfly is sick and tired of hearing the pittling excuses. We all know that these people who claim to be resting are really downing one too many teaspoons of Robitussin and singing happy songs through their phlegm.
As any good NYbarfly knows – being ill is no excuse not to drink. You have the first sip saying “one Jameson’s will help kill the bacteria” and then the 37th sip saying “I’mma not sicka no more”.
Being a professional drinker is hard work, ladies and gentlemen. It’s ok to admit your doubts – we know that sometimes, in between those labored sick breaths and drags of your cigarette, you think “perhaps I would be healthier if I didn’t drink”.
Once again Barfly is coming to the rescue. Stop pondering preposterousness and start sipping on the immune-boosting new drink we created to get you through the dregs of disease: The Flu-tini
The Flu-tini:
3.5 oz Vodka
1 Airborne Tablet (although its been heavily reported that Airborne was developed by a school teacher, its not as well known that her #1 Teacher Coffee Mug contained more than just java)
Serve vodka chilled in martini glass. Drop airborne in and watch dissolve. As tablet turns to vapor, focus the power of positive thinking on your immune system and internally chant “drinky drink will curey cure me”. Sip, (if illness includes external lesions, pour directly on wound), and experience the health of a sickle-cell sans anemia.
The beautiful thing about the Fluitini is that it will work for any level of illness. Yes, you sickly barflys won’t be excluded - it can be injected directly into your feeding tubes!
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