Ladies and Gentlemen, our friend littlefly is more than just a woman of the city (“slut” to the plebeians), she's also a cultural aficionado and pizza lover. Be sure to enjoy a slice and a beer as you read her movie review and secretly ogle the porn that is in your minimized browser window, hidden from your bosses shifty eyes.
The lights dimmed at Two Boots Pioneer Theater. A guy shouted “YEA!” and pumped an enthusiastic fist in the air as unnecessary boobs flashed the in opening credits. I certainly had come to the right indie film premiere this weekend.
A throwback to the cheesy slasher films of the 80’s, Bikini Blood Bath is a breath of nostalgia…so as long as you can move past the fact that 2/3 of the actresses are somewhat big boned and in spirit of the title (like any good low definition thriller) are clad in swimwear for the majority of the film.
Set in woodsy parts of Connecticut, BBB features high school students as its main characters. The young students are played by thirtysomething fat guys wearing football jerseys and suburban whores. When the girls decide to throw a house party and hang out in the hot tub it becomes clear that the Evil Chef killer (Evil Chef being made obvious by his chef hat ominously popping up behind bushes) is going to use his signature weapon—a butcher’s knife, (hello!) to slash at least two of the fat ones. The two token skinny ones who were scripted to make out and probably some of the jocks who come to spy on the girls in hopes of witnessing some lesbian “action” are likely also doomed, but after the fat girls. .
Topped off with a hair metal soundtrack I couldn’t help but be pleased with this deliberately cliché horror flick. A special thanks should be said you to the actors’ and actresses’ parents for letting the creators use their homes as a set.
Review: Bikini Blood Bath
Insertion of a blow job scene that ends in homicide -4 olives— It was fun to pretend that this never happened in my life - god rest his soul? Slurp slurp….
The majority of the audience being the cast - 1 olive—Perhaps if there was less sexual tension on the set more time could have been spent promoting.
Someone screaming “No, don’t run UP the stairs!!” during the highly anticipated girl running upstairs to get away from the killer scene - 3 olives— Running up the stairs seemed like a good idea to me.
Location- Two Boots Pioneer Theater - 3 1/2 olives - Props to the producers for taking the premiere of this low budget film outside of Connecticut. Maybe now it will be a hit…ha.
Pissed off lesbian gym teacher character - 2 olives — I expected more from her.
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