Barfly would like to take a few moments to wish our readers a happy Valentine’s day. We hope that your irrational feelings of jealousy, rage, and all the other mushy emotions that come with the wonderful “love” thing are particularly acute on this beautiful day. We’ve never quite understood the point of this romantic love business, but we do appreciate how it can turn even the most sober minded into a raging alcoholic when things go awry.
This is our valentine to you, gentle reader: the next time you discover the wrapping of a morning after pill in your bathroom trash and he claims that he took it himself to “get a better idea of the abortion debate” – we’ll be there for you. Come join us at the bar and take one shot for every year of your life that you wasted. We’ll even help you to have unprotected sex with the bouncer – a thuggish rugrat crawling around will definitely show him!
Barfly has a heart break story of our own this day. Fake stalking doesn’t get you very far in this digital age – Restaurant Girl has failed to even acknowledge we exist, and we’re stealing as much of her copyright as possible. We do know that she was featured on the cover of the NY times style section recently. We’re happy to hear that our beauty is finding success – a jump from the world of blogging to the $.034 / word rate of freelance restaurant reviewing is a great resume builder. We ask that you remember us, Restaurant Girl. Because we will most certainly be thinking of you when we next, um, “review” in the bathroom stall of a dive bar.
Love (tender, crazy, and true),
Barfly
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