Gentle reader, we now reach the end of littlefly's life threatening saga - dating a Canadian. Enjoy (and beware!) -
“Well tomorrow night I have my boss’ 50th so I’ll be in touch after this weekend.”
There must be something special about Canadians because even after a shockingly small Continental Divide and a filthy mouth, I didn’t give him the boot and send him back into the freeze of the north.
But then we encountered a third issue.
I sat on the other end of the phone rolling my eyes. What a crock of crap, I thought. There is no boss’ 50th event tomorrow night.
Upon hanging up the phone I paused for a moment. When do we stop assuming that every thing a man says is a lie and start giving them the benefit of the doubt?
I started to catalog all the silly things I’ve heard over the years.
“I was giving a piano lesson.”
“I was having dinner with my mom.”
“That wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend. It was John. We always say ‘I love you’ before hanging up the phone.”
In each instance things would have been much easier had I just believed them. That's the answer! That is what I would do from now on. I will just believe everything the Canadian says and see what happens.
With this newfound notion I learned so much about him.
He’s a family man! Like that other weekend when he had to “fly home” to visit his pregnant sister. Who else would fly to Canada for the weekend to visit his new nephew…what was his name? I thought…then I recalled the conversation we had about it-
“What’s the baby’s name?”
“Ummm….err…he doesn’t have a name yet.”
Well then, I guess the baby doesn’t have a name yet! How nice of him to visit Nameless for the weekend and fly back in time for work.
Because of my bright new outlook on I found myself pleased when he returned from coddling said infant and we decided on a Sunday night out indulging in two for one.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Phew, I am pooped. Organizing my uncle’s 60th this weekend was a lot more work than I thought.”
Nanook bit his tongue and looked at me with fear – he knew that he slipped up and he was waiting on me to call him on the lie. But, going with my new found system of “beliefs” I did what any good girlfriend should do – smiled and nodded.
Nanook was apparently heartened by my trust, so he started letting me in on some other little secrets. That night I found myself getting tied up and spanked in the center of an authentic hand woven rug from India with the lights on and the back door blinds open.
I awoke in the morning in a compound with 7 other women who seem to be Nanook’s wives (they say they are just a circle of friends) while he is “away on business”. Therefore I’m currently using the state of art facilities available here to write this blog. Why not? Nanook is in Chile on a “business trip” and I get to hang out here with all his cool “friends”.
In response to my own question: just believe everything they say. Trust truly is a beautiful thing.
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